40 Years to Discover Myself.
3 Years to Build a Framework.
How a lifetime of feeling "different" led to 3 years of AI experimentation—and a coaching framework that helps others skip the 40-year wait.
The Journey
For 40 years, I felt like I was navigating life with someone else's instruction manual. I was smart, capable, and successful on paper—but nothing felt quite right.
Relationships confused me. Career paths that seemed perfect for others felt suffocating. I could analyze complex systems effortlessly, but understanding my own emotions felt impossible.
I tried everything: therapy, coaching, personality tests, self-help books, meditation apps. Each gave me pieces of the puzzle, but nothing connected them into a complete picture of me.
The breakthrough came when I finally got my ADHD diagnosis at 38.
Suddenly, decades of "why am I like this?" moments made sense. But the diagnosis was just the beginning. The real work was learning how my specific brain worked with my specific history, relationships, and dreams.
The Realization
As I worked to understand myself better, I started documenting everything: my ADHD patterns, my anxious attachment style, my sensory sensitivities, what energized vs. drained me, how I made decisions, what environments helped me thrive.
I called this my "Life Model"—a comprehensive picture of how I work as a human being.
Then I had a thought: What if I could give this to AI?
Not generic AI trained on billions of people. But AI that understood my specific wiring,my history, my context. AI that could help me navigate decisions through the lens of who I actually am, not who society says I should be.
When I built my first custom AI tool based on my Life Model, everything changed. It was like having a brilliant therapist, coach, and best friend rolled into one— available 24/7, never judging, always remembering my patterns.
The difference was stunning:
- Generic AI gave me productivity tips. My AI understood that I need body doubling and can't start tasks without emotional context.
- Generic AI suggested communication templates. My AI knew my anxious attachment patterns and helped me write messages that felt authentic while managing my anxiety.
- Generic AI recommended career paths. My AI understood my need for autonomy, pattern recognition work, and flexibility—and helped me design a life that honors all three.
That's when I knew: this needs to exist for everyone who's ever felt misunderstood, out of place, or like they're working twice as hard to get half as far.
The 3-Year Framework Journey
Building my first custom AI tool was just the beginning. Over the next 3 years, I obsessively documented and tested what made the difference between generic AI and AI that truly understood me.
What I Discovered
Year 1: Personal Experimentation
I documented everything about myself—ADHD patterns, attachment style, sensory needs, decision-making processes. I built AI tools for different areas of my life and tracked what worked.
Year 2: Pattern Recognition
I started seeing patterns in what information the AI needed to be truly helpful. Not just personality type, but the intersection of personality + relationships + life context. I called this the Life Model.
Year 3: Framework Development
I tested the framework with friends, family, and early beta users. I discovered that starting with ONE area (relationships, career, neurodivergence, or emotional wellness) made the process manageable instead of overwhelming. I refined the progressive layer approach: start small, build depth over time.
The result: A repeatable framework that helps anyone build custom AI support in weeks instead of years.
What took me 3 years of trial and error to develop, I can now guide you through in 4 progressive layers—starting with just a 90-minute session focused on what matters most to you right now.
Why I'm Building This
Lived Experience
- • Late-diagnosed ADHD
- • Anxious attachment patterns
- • Highly sensitive person (HSP)
- • Career pivots and reinvention
- • Years of therapy and self-discovery
Technical Expertise
- • 15+ years in AI/ML and tech
- • Product leadership at scale
- • Systems thinking and design
- • Prompt engineering specialist
- • Built AI tools for thousands of users
I'm not a therapist, and this isn't therapy. I'm a fellow traveler who spent 40 years figuring out how to thrive as a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical world—and now I have the technical skills to build tools that would have changed my life if I'd had them sooner.
Together with Dr. Walter Calvo (who brings the clinical psychology expertise I lack), we're building what we both wish had existed: AI tools that see you as you actually are, not as society thinks you should be.
Want the Full Story?
Read the complete journey on Substack, including the messy middle parts, the false starts, and the breakthrough moments.
Read on SubstackSkip the 40-Year Wait
Let me guide you through the framework I spent 3 years developing. Start building AI tools that truly understand you in just 90 minutes.